Board games to beat the lockdown

National lockdowns have given us the opportunity to reflect and make use of the free time we did not have before. There are many interesting things you can do to keep entertained, from performing self-love routines, to learning a new hobby, preparing that banana bread you have seen millions of times on your Instagram feed, to exercising, sexting and playing games! Any kind of games. Not just video ones. Today, we present you with a list of our favourite board games (cheeky and non-cheeky options follow) that kept us busy, happy and excited during this time. Here we go.

Option #1: Cum Face game

It is a fun game, very rude and quite unique. See who has the best action. Who will make the pump cum first? Regarding the product, this hilarious duel pump action penis game is like nothing else you’ve seen and the perfect party piece for bachelor and bachelorette parties and other fun-filled events. How to play… Before you begin, pour liquid into the hole positioned between the two shafts. We advise water but any safe to consume liquid can also be used.

The object of the game is to pump the penises as quickly as possible to be the first player to squirt their opponent in the face, or mouth, and be declared the fastest w@*ker. Then, pass it on to the next contenders. Fill it up and start pumping, be quick though, or you’ll get a face full. Let the games begin.

Option #2: Huge Penis Ice Cube

This ice luge mould fits into most standard-sized freezers and is easy to fill up through the filling hole. Using filtered water can help to make the ice more clear. Once filled to the filling line at 90%, place into the freezer until frozen. Freezing time depends on the freezer settings but 24/48 hours should be sufficient. That’s it, it’s ready for you and your guests to enjoy the ice-cold liquid you choose to pour through the Huge Penis Ice Luge.

Option #3: Fondle

Players stand on their chosen coloured footprints wearing their matching coloured glasses. Players take it in turns to spin. That player then has to do what the arrow lands on, for instance, hand on red bum, left foot on banana, etc. If a player lands on ‘Fondle’ they have to do a forfeit. 

Fondle can be played with either 2, 3 or 4 people. Players are instructed to use the spinner for the correct number of players. The game can be played with clothes, underwear or for the daring naked.

Land on fondle? Take a shot; Strip! Take off an item of clothing; Kiss the person to your left; Cluck like a chicken; Moo like a cow; Hee-haw like a donkey; Oink like a pig; Do a little dance; You might decide to just do shots, or just play strip fondle. It’s up to you.

Included: 4 pairs of glasses, 1 play mat, double sided spinner

Option #4: Bigger or Smaller

The game starts with the dealer flipping over a card to the player on their right. This player must then guess if the penis on the next card will be bigger or smaller. If the player gets it wrong, he/she drinks a shot or drinks for the number of seconds corresponding to how far their guess was off; or simply add a truth or dare element, takes a shot or removes a piece of clothing.

The above games can be bought at

Option #5: Task Master (non-naughty option)

Question – Are you Stuck indoors? Bored of watching the same old repeats on TV? Too wet, cold and dark to adventure outside? Missing your mates? Lost your spark?  If the answer to all those questions is Yes, (and we very much suspect it might be given the current situation) What should you do about it? It should come as no surprise that more and more individuals and families are shunning their screens and ‘online’ lifestyle, in favour of more meaningful in-person interaction.

Currently worth over £3 billion, the board game market is seeing huge growth and demand, with research suggesting this is set to rise to £8 billion by the end of 2021. Of course, board games are fun, but to be serious for one minute, they are important tools to facilitate communication skills, develop knowledge, as well as improving critical thinking and creative talent.

One particular game you should try to reduce that “board-dom” (very clever right) is Taskmaster; based on the BAFTA award winning TV show, it brings the very essence of this hit programme in the comfort of your home. Compete and complete a series of ludicrous tasks earning as many points as possible to be crowned the ultimate Taskmaster champion.

The challenges are well aligned to the ones on the show (but to an achievable home level). For the most imaginative and inspired amongst you, why not play and compete with your friends remotely once you have decided who gets the enviable roles of being judge or judged.  Contents include a fold out Taskmaster house Board complete with Garden, Kitchen, Lab and Living Room task zones, rules sheet, scoreboard, playing pieces, the illustrious Taskmaster Trophy and over 200 sealed task cards including video tasks from Alex Horne himself!

Suitable for up to 3 players and for ages 8+ The Taskmaster Board Game costs £19.99 from John Lewis

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