Daphna Attias and Terry O’Donovan co-direct Dauda Ladejobi as Jay and Graham Mackay Bruce as Paul.  Joining them in the cast will be Morgan Archer (Chaplain and ensemble), live music from UK Rapper Lady Lykez as Kerry and ensemble, Frank Skully (Governor and ensemble) and Dean Statham (Ali and ensemble) in this electrifying and intimate story of love and redemption. 

Kiss Marry Kill zeroes in on the limits of our compassion, challenging our assumptions and preconceptions around sexuality, and the criminal justice system.

We interviewed Terry O’Donovan – co-writer and co-director of Kiss Marry Kill.

How did you come up with the idea of KISS MARY KILL?

We started working on this project in 2016, having read an article about the first same-sex couple to get married in a UK prison. The complexities and complications of the men’s relationship – from separate homophobic murders to marrying each other – fascinated us. The fact that the men were separated as a result of choosing to get married complicated the story even more for us. I married my husband in Belgium before it same-sex marriage was legal in the UK, and I was really interested in the validation and safety that a marriage offered, and as we began our research everyone had a different opinion about the reasons for their wedding. 

Can you describe the writing process to us? How easy or difficult is it to co-write a play and what does that involve?

It was really interesting – challenging, inspiring and a lot of fun. Daphna and I have co-created for almost 20 years so sometimes it’s like we’re the same brain. We knew James Baldwin had worked extensively in prisons facilitating drama workshops and he came onboard straight away as a collaborator. Writing the play as a trio has been a fascinating process,  functioning like a mini writing room. Supported by dramaturg Lisa Golman we created an extremely detailed storyboard which we wrote from. Sometimes we would write three versions of the same scene and combine ideas, we’d often be on our feet improvising dialogue. At other times one of us would arrive with a scene that the others duly approved!

What is the message the play wants to convey and how do you reimagine the first same sex marriage in prison on 2015?

We hope Kiss Marry Kill sparks debate, challenges our audiences as much as we’ve been challenged during the creative process, and makes people think about how they can make their corner of the world better for everyone around them. Representation is so much better than when I was a gay kid growing up, but ‘equality’ is still a dream. According to Galop’s Hate Crime Report (2021) two-thirds of LGBTQ+ people had experienced anti-LGBTQ+ violence or abuse. Of these, nine in ten had experienced verbal abuse, three in ten had experienced physical violence and two in ten had experienced sexual violence. Despite huge advances in representation and civic rights, homophobia and transphobia continues to affect us in the UK, and across the globe is frighteningly worse.

Look at what’s happening in Russia, in Ghana, in Poland to the LGBTQ+ communities.

By reimagining this wedding we want people to talk about how we are raising our young boys, how society is actually engaged in equality – and what rights people really have. And what do we need to keep fighting for.

How long did the research for this show take after reading the first article in a newspaper?

The research for Kiss Marry Kill has spanned 6 years – talking to experts from the world of the idea.

With Kiss Marry Kill we focused on the LGBTQ community and people who’ve been in prison. Over the years of the project’s development we have visited a variety of LGBTQ+ groups and five different prisons, including the prison where these two men live. But we were denied access to them, and despite trying, we haven’t been able to speak with victim’s families. This led to our decision to fictionalise the story we would tell. 

Throughout the development period we spoke with people who work in prisons, including sexual health workers, forensic psychologists, chaplains, governors and officers. These discussions have been extremely eye-opening. It’s clear that the staff have so much passion for the rehabilitative work that they do, but talking openly about homosexual relationships was always challenging and often denied. We met with Dr Nicola Carr (Associate Professor in Criminology at University of Nottingham) to discuss her work on LGBTQ+ life in prisons. We worked with her to pitch arts engagement projects for LGBTQ+ inmates but no prisons wanted to touch it. Sex in prison between men is a major taboo, and seen as dangerous. This made us want to tell this story even more. Why are relationships between men still so dangerous, despite ‘equality’ being in place?

Will people with lived experience of the criminal justice system be part of the show? How important were their experiences to shape the play?

Absolutely, we have 3 members of the cast with lived experience of the prison system. One of them is a gay man.

The applied theatre element to the project has been a real driving force in the creation and development of the show. We’ve had amazingly generous support from through a long-term collaboration with Synergy Theatre. Synergy recruited nine ex-prisoners to take part in a research and development period with us in 2019. The room was explosive. The men’s opinions were divided and their experience hugely fed into both the script and the building of the project. It was clear that we should create roles for people with prison experience in the production. We also felt it was important to build pathways into the arts through our next phase of development and so devised a theatre workshop programme at HMP Swaleside; and a 10 week Approaches to Theatre Making course for 15 Synergy members. The three ensemble cast members come from our work with Synergy – one from our recent course, and two from our 2019 research and development phase.

Working with people with lived experience of the prison system has ensured that authenticity has been fed through the entire production, 

How would you describe the show?

It will feel quietly explosive I’d say. You’ll be sitting in amongst 6 real prison beds that were donated from HMP Holloway, and the action happens throughout the space – and it’s performed in places where people get married. The cast are incredible and from the opening moment there isn’t any let up. There are moments of surreal ensemble sequences as well as very stark descriptions of violence, nudity and intimate scenes. Spoken word and rap is a major part of the storytelling, and it’s performed by an incredible artist called Lady Lykez.

What were the biggest challenges during this show creation and how did you feel when you saw the final result?

Getting the script to a point where you can believe in the big leaps that the central character of Jay was a huge challenge – he goes from being so homophobic that he murders a guy to falling in love and getting married in a hugely homophobic environment… So bringing all the elements together and making sure that that central story carries us through is the major achievement.

What has been the reaction of the people who have seen the show?

We’ve just had our first performances and were absolutely bowled over by the responses. Some queer teenagers in the audience were crying. People were overwhelmed by the complexities – rooting for the central couple at the same time as not being sure they should be allowed to get married. A few people said it’s something they wouldn’t normally go to but that it was so powerful to see these lives onstage that it changed their perception of prison and what love can look like.

Kiss Marry Kill is funded by International Music and Art Foundation, National Lottery Community Fund, Cockayne Grants for the Arts, PRS Foundation & Arts Council England.

Kiss Marry Kill is commissioned by The Lowry, South Street Reading & Ideas Test, with support from Norwich Theatre Royal & Stone Nest. The project was seed funded by IGNITE – York Theatre Royal.

Content warning: Discussion and descriptions of homophobic hate crimes. There are also scenes of a sexual nature, nudity, violence and strong language. If you require further information, contact details are provided in our online resource (link)

LISTING AND TOUR INFORMATION

20th – 22^nd March

The Dockyard Church Broadway, Sheerness ME12 1TP

Weds to Fri at 7.30pm

16th April – 27th April 

Stone Nest 136 Shaftesbury Avenue, London W1D 5EZ 

Mon to Sat at 7.30pm

30th April – 4th May

The Concert Hall 21 South Street, Reading RG1 4QU

Tue to Friday at 7.30pm

Sat at 2pm & 6pm

10th May – 12th May 

Halle St Peters 40, Blossom Street, Manchester M4 6BF

In partnership with the Lowry

Fri at 7.30pm

Sat at 2.30pm & 7.30pm

Sun at 2.30pm

16th May – 19th May

The Great Hospital 6 Great Hospital Masters House Bishopgate, Norwich NR1 4EL

Thurs & Fri at 7.30pm

Sat 2.30pm & 7.30pm

Sun 2pm & 6pm

Booking via danteordie.com